I think we can all look around and see people that we know or interact with that seem to be stuck on a merry-go-round. Looping in an endless circle of pessimism and negativity. Some might refer to them as a negative Nancy or some other characterization. No matter what is happening they seem to just be stuck seeing the life as a dark nemesis whose ends is theirs’, and perhaps yours as well, destruction.
Emotionally these people can be intensely draining to be around. Even on the best of days in the best of circumstances they can find some doom, some gloom to lament about. Interesting enough these attitudes can, like a virus, be incredibly infectious with today’s technology that enables constant and instantaneous access to news and information. The best example would be the early days of the Covid pandemic. I would sometimes surf through the news to see the updates about the end of the world. Perhaps the most interesting if found was that of CNN. Their psychology of fear was amazing. The frames outlining and background colors were dark and foreboding purple and blacks. The news ticker providing worldwide updates of Covid deaths in what seemed to be real time rolling incessantly across the screen. The myriad of projections coming out from today’s leading minds of the unthinkable death toll coming on mankind. And finally, who was responsible for America’s lack of response and how many more lives were going to be lost due to their ineptitude. I found it fascinating and in the early stages noticed how the most pessimistic I knew were also the very most frightened and angry.
Through a variety of factors each of us has formed a schema. A way in which we see and interpret the world and the information we receive from our senses. These factors include our family of origin, our education both formal and informal, and our experiences in life. In EMDR therapy there is a therapy intervention called cognitive interweave and it is used when a person begins to loop in a trauma memory. Going in circles around a memory that remains isolated and stuck in the state of mind in which it was formed. It needs new information introduced to help “unstick” the memory in order for it to be processed and integrated into the schema.
While trauma is often thought of as events there is also the slow weight of life that can in many ways replicate this process through a slow steady and imperceptible conditioning. We become trained only to see the bad. This then has a variety of negative impacts on our lives through increased stress, relational strain, and mental health problems. But there is a prescription.
Be the change you need. Gratitude is a simple yet incredibly powerful antidote to pessimism. It is the new information that the pessimistic mind needs to begin to unstick itself from the endless loop of negativity. It counter conditions the mind in the same way it was initially conditioned to accept good as well as bad and even to re-interpret bad information into opportunity. Get fired. The negative mind says the end is here. Get fired. The positive mind see’s what it still has and can even see the new possibilities that lay ahead. This is where gratitude becomes such a powerful force. It conditions our minds to be able to see the good in life even in the rain. So, as we go through this season of thanksgiving if you have never or have fallen off from making a gratitude list and meditating on the things in life you should be thankful for now is great time to start. With regular practice you will find that your mind will begin to more naturally and more automatically see the silver lining.
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